Snippets about: Social Skills
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"Ask For A Favor And They'll Like You More"
The Ben Franklin effect shows that asking weak ties for a favor makes them more likely to help you again in the future. When Franklin wanted to win over a rival legislator, rather than doing a favor for the man, Franklin asked to borrow a rare book from him. The rival was flattered and afterwards, was much more friendly and willing to help Franklin.
So don't just do favors for weak ties, ask them for favors too. People like to feel helpful, as long as the request isn't a burden. Make it specific, concrete and relevant to their interests.
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
Book:
Author:
The Best Way to Get the Truth? Build Rapport
Rather than becoming a walking polygraph, focus on creating an environment conducive to honest communication. When people feel at ease, they're more likely to open up and reveal critical information - even if it's unflattering or incriminating. To encourage truthfulness:
- Make the person feel heard and respected
- Ask open-ended questions that invite explanation
- Avoid accusations or interrogation tactics that put them on the defensive
- Mirror their positive body language to build "liking"
- Paraphrase their statements to show you're listening
Give them space to clarify or correct your understanding The more comfortable a person feels with you, the less they'll feel the need to deceive or omit. Building rapport is the surest way to reach the truth, even if it takes time.
Section: 1, Chapter: 8
Book: What Every Body is Saying
Author: Joe Navarro
A Light Touch Can Be A Powerful Influencer
Numerous studies demonstrate the unconscious power of touch to shape behavior and perceptions. For example:
- Waiters who lightly touched customers on the arm or shoulder as they returned change received significantly higher tips than those who avoided contact.
- People were twice as likely to sign a petition or fill out a survey if the requester quickly touched their arm.
- Basketball teams whose players touched each other more (high fives, fist bumps, hugs, etc.) had higher performance, controlling for individual talent.
Section: 2, Chapter: 5
Book: Subliminal
Author: Leonard Mlodinow